It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
