there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
