Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
