Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
