Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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