you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
