I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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