Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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