There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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