Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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