I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
