he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
