Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
