so that wasnt chicken after all
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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