There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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