I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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