all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
