im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
