It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh god it's open bar.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
