you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
be right there i have to get my cape
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize