you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
