im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
