And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
