We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
