Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
home. puking in laundry basket.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just puked most of my soul out..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
