i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
