Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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