Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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