the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
