Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
