we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
