the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They have beer where we have blood.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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