Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
