What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
