told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
