Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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