I just pynch a tree in the face
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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