Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
