I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
