Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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