did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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