I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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