This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
