The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
