I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
