I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize