I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
