**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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