There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
