i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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