I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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