she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
