it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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