Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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