why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
