duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
