Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
