So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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