you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
