My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
