love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
