How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
