Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just high enough for therapy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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