you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
