I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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