He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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