shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The struggles of a small town man whore
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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