just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
