Don't you send me to vm
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
