we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
