When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
