Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
