Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
