Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
