Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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