yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
