i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
